i am making myself so miserable. dont check, i will gao wei. check le, more gao wei.

maybe its better to be like wat qt says, trust him, as thats the only thing i can do now. dun suspect so much, dun think so much, dun know so much. 学着放开一点，自己也会开心一点。

i think i'm too dependant on him. too many yrs of being independant, now i start to lose my independance and depend on him too much. too much that is not at all healthy.

i really dunno wat to do.. things are getting from bad to worse.

i want to be the only person who can change me. i want to be in control of my emotions. i dun wan another person to affect me so much.

把手放开。是属于我的，怎样都会是我的。不属于我的，捉的再紧，终有一天还是会跑的。

谈何容易，可是我必须做的到。