Hmm.. today's my 4th day of work. One more day to go before my day off. Although I'm both physically and mentally tired, but I'm still enjoying working despite all the ache and pain in my body. Weird me. My body is telling me that I need rest.

Maybe I'm too tired. I'm totally not looking forward to my chalet end of the month. I was so happy and looking forward to my own party just a few days ago, but now I'm worried about everything. I'm worried about the food. I'm worried about what I'm going to wear that day. I'm worried about my complexion. I'm worried about my make up. I'm worried about the transport. Worse of all, I'm worried that nobody will come. Theres so many things for me to worry about, thou I know theres no need to worry at the same time.

Whats happening to me?

I got my invitation card already. Got all the names ready on the card, but I don't know when is a better time to give out the cards. I'm thinking that it may be too early to give out now. But I know if I were to give out one or two weeks later, people may already made plans on that day and will start asking why didn't I give out earlier. Argh.. I'm contridicting myself. Dumb.

Is it that when you are tired you tend to have more nightmares? I've been having bad dreams these few weeks. I had a very very bad dream last night. I dreamt that Powder was killed. I don't know why I had this dream, but the dream was something like this.

"Powder hopped onto a bus at the bus terminal in airport terminal 1. I chased after her but the bus driver closed the door after Powder got on. I waited around 2 hours for the bus to return to the terminal. Asked the driver where is my baby Powder and he told me 'the dog is gone'. I asked what does that mean and he said that the passengers was very disturbed that there was a dog on the bus, so when they reached the other interchange, they 'got rid' of the dog. I asked the driver what had they done to my dog and he told me it shall be something that I'll never know. I don't know what happened next but I overheard him telling another driver at the terminal that they strangled Powder and then threw her into the rubbish bin."

I was crying and screaming in my dreams as if I've gone crazy. I think I did scream or cry out loud because Powder was licking me when I woke up, with tears on my eyes and on my pillow too! Fuck~ I hate this dream. I hate to dream of something bad happened to either my mum, powder or granny. I know this is a stupid dream, but I just feel so uneasy. Kept thinking about the dream when I was at work. Grr..

Lotsa things to do yet so little time. Need to go shop for presents. So many June babies~ I'm getting broke this month!

I'm losing interest in everything.

Whats happening??